An Unfortunate Lich upon This Crazy World
by Nyarlathotep7030
Summary: Something went wrong when Kazuma was transported to Axel. He has no idea what happened, but he suddenly turned from a human into a lich. Now he's stuck with no allies, no resources, and no idea how the world around him works. His only question? What the fuck should he do next? (Heavy spoilers for both the side stories and every volume up to volume 15)
1. Chapter 1

**Well, here we are. After several rewrites, I finally finished the first chapter of this. Feedback is important for improvement, so please let me know what you think. Please try to keep it constructive though.**

**If I make any mistakes, please point them out so I can fix them.**

**I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

"Hey, what is all this? Wh-what? You've got to be kidding."

Aqua stared down in shock at the circle beneath her started glowing.

"No, no, no! Come on, um…"

Aqua pressed against the barrier of the teleportation circle.

"This is not right! Taking a goddess with you is against the rules! It must be illegal! This has to be illegal!"

Aqua banged her fists on the barrier as the angel in front of her stayed silent.

"Wait! Wait!"

The angel continued to ignore Aqua and smiled happily.

"Please have a safe trip, Mistress Aqua. Should you successfully defeat the Demon King, I will send someone to pick you up."

Aqua screamed as the circle kept growing brighter.

"I may have the ability to heal since I'm a goddess, but I have no fighting ability to speak of! I'll be massacred!"

Aqua started floating in the air.

"Hey, wait!"

Aqua heard dark laughter and turned to see Kazuma floating as well in his circle.

"How does it feel to be dragged away with the guy you treated like a total idiot?"

Kazuma continued laughing as he looked up with a dark smile.

"You're coming with me and there's nothing you can do about it."

Kazuma held his hand up in a creepy gesture and kept laughing.

"I'll tap your power to live the good life, and I'll tap it all day, every day!"

Aqua screamed in fear and curled up in on herself.

"Please don't make me go with a creep like him! Please!"

Kazuma kept maniacally laughing as the two kept floating into the air.

The angel below them spread her wings.

"I wish you luck and I pray that of the many candidates that have been sent, you shall be the hero that defeats the Demon King. If you can save that world from his evil, the gods will grant you any wish your heart desires."

Kazuma looked downwards in shock.

"Whoa, seriously!"

Aqua screamed down at her subordinate.

"Hey hold on a second, I'm supposed to say that!"

The angel smiled as the two neared the end of their ascent.

"Now then, begin your journey!"

The goddess and the NEET screamed, one in happiness and the other in fear, as they finally flew into the portal.

The angel waited a moment for the portal above her to close before she finally stopped her angelic act and collapsed with a groan.

Finally, they had an excuse to get rid of Aqua for a while. Next to none of the gods like that annoying, idiotic bitch. Now they could have some fucking peace and quiet.

Maybe it was a bit cruel to force her into helping some creepy teen finally destroy the current Demon King, but at this point, she doubted that she was the only one who would celebrate Aqua's departure.

She paused for a moment and looked up at the place where her superior and the creepy teen had just disappeared.

This whole debacle did make her wonder if they could finally be rid of the accursed Demon King. They had been sending adventurer after adventurer for years after him, but only one had succeeded in that quest…**(1)**

The angel grimaced at the thought.

Maybe giving one of the best skills they could grant to someone as unstable as him had been a mistake. From what she knew, even the locals knew the tale of what happened.

The tale of an arrogant solo adventurer who set off on a quest to kill the Demon King.

The tale of the adventurer who became the Demon King.

The angel hoped against hope that the next person to kill the Demon King wouldn't be as much of a jackass.

Which brought up the issue of the person Aqua had been sent with. Kamuza? Katuma? Something like that.

To put it simply, the guy seemed like even more of a creep than the man who had killed the previous Demon King. The fact that a teen like him was being given a power as great as Aqua in his hands was…...worrying, to say the least.

As much as she hated that fucking bitch, she was incredibly powerful. If that creep turned out to be just like the fucker from before, then the Demon King issue would be far worse.

It was one thing for a minor goddess like Wolbach to join the Demon King and become his servant. It was another thing entirely for a goddess as powerful as Aqua to become a servant to a Demon King.

The angel shivered at the thought.

She would just have to hope that the problem wouldn't get worse than it already had at this point.

Unbeknownst to her, the portal that she had just sent the two beings through had malfunctioned and became tainted by dark magic. Whether it was a mistake made by the angel, a spell created by the Demon King, or some force beyond even the gods; few would ever know. All that mattered were the consequences of these actions.

The consequences for Aqua were next to non-existent due to her divine nature as a goddess.

The consequences for Kazuma, on the other hand, were…...horrific to say the least.

* * *

Kazuma looked around excitedly at his surroundings.

There were people everywhere dressed in outfits straight out of a Dungeons and Dragons book! They were covered with swords, armor, and various other weapons he didn't recognize!

This was so cool! He could've never imagined something so cool happening after his death! It was just like all those light novels he read! Goodbye boring life as a depressed shut-in and hello amazing life as a powerful adventurer!

And if what that angel said before was true, life would become even better after he killed the Demon King!

Kazuma grew giddy at the thought.

There was so much he could ask for! Just off the top of his head, he could wish for money, infinite power, or even a harem!

He would've been salivating if his mouth didn't seem so dry all of the sudden.

He felt determination to have some fun and enjoy this life fill him and he turned to the bitch of a goddess next to him.

"Alright you bitch, let's do this!"

Oddly the goddess was very quiet as she stared at him. Her brow was furrowed in confusion as she looked at his face.

Did he have something on his face or something?

Kazuma reached and scrubbed his sleeve against his mouth. Strangely, he felt it rub against his teeth instead.

Wait, what?

Kazuma tried to close his mouth, but to his surprise, his lips didn't move at all.

In fact, he couldn't feel his lips at all…

He looked towards the goddess who now seemed to have a look of fury on her face.

Kazuma felt even more perplexed than before.

He hadn't even done anything so far, what could she be mad about?

The bitch of a goddess opened her mouth and drew in a deep breath.

"LICH!"

Kazuma took a second to process the words and quickly felt horror fill.

A lich? As in the near all-powerful undead creatures well known throughout several fantasy games and novels? How could one of them already be in the starting area?

Kazuma looked around in a panic. To his surprise though, everyone around him wasn't desperately trying to find the undead monstrosity that was supposedly lurking about. Instead, they were all trembling in fear as they stared at him.

Suddenly, he noticed the bitch of a goddess throwing a golden-glowing punch at him out of the corner of his eye. Kazuma quickly leaped back and just barely avoided being hit.

He felt anger fill him.

What the fuck was that for?! He knew that she was probably mad that he forced her here, but that was no reason to try and punch him.

He turned and ran up to a nearby man in a massive amount of armor with a huge sword on his back.

"Help! This crazy bitch is attacking me!"

He glanced back to see the goddess still trying to run after him. Her face sent a chill down his spine, clearly speaking of all the pain and horror she would inflict on him.

Damn, she seemed even angrier than before. He hadn't even done anything yet!

He turned back to the man he had asked for help, only to see that he was swinging his sword at him.

You had to be fucking kidding!

As it swung towards his head, Kazuma groaned. He was about to die again! Seriously, he had only been in this life for a grand total of five minutes! He hated his fucking luck.

He accepted his fate as the sword swung towards his neck and slammed into it….before bouncing right off.

Kazuma stood there for a moment.

…...what?

It took Kazuma a moment to realize that the weapon had in fact not killed him and had instead done absolutely nothing. Even weirder, he hadn't even felt any pain from that hard swing against his neck.

Not bothering to question his luck, Kazuma ran past the confused man and sprinted as fast as he could from the angrily screeching goddess he could still hear behind him.

He screamed in fear as he ran as fast as he could away, but no one jumped to his aid. In fact, from what he could see of the crowds, they just stood there frozen in shock at the sight of him.

Kazuma was starting to feel like something was wrong. Everyone he had met so far had been either scared of him or had tried to kill him. Either this world had very fucked up customs, or something had happened to him.

Kazuma dodged into a nearby alley to try and shake the goddess still on his tail.

"GET BACK HERE YOU FILTHY UNDEAD! I HAVEN'T PURIFIED YOU YET!"

What the fuck was she talking about?! He was pretty clearly human!

Kazuma nearly fell over as he made a sharp turn right as he exited the alley.

As he continued running down the street, a nearby man quickly pulled out a glowing dagger and aimed at him.

Kazuma choose to ignore the man so he could continue running at full speed.

Earlier, that man had swung a sword at his neck and it had simply bounced off for some reason. Following that line logic, a hit from a far smaller dagger should do nothing

Unfortunately for Kazuma, he found out just how wrong his assumption was when he felt a massive amount of pain shoot up in his side when the dagger slammed right through it.

Kazuma held back a scream as he continued running at top speed away from the goddess behind him.

Note to self, assumptions were the mother of all fuck-ups.

What the hell?! So that massive sword from before couldn't even hurt him, but that tiny dagger could?! What kind of shitty balancing did this world have?!

He glanced up to try and plan his path, only to realize that a carriage carrying various unfamiliar varieties of fruits was blocking his path.

Kazuma groaned.

Dear god, did the universe hate him today or something?

There was no way he could dodge out of the way in time while keeping his full speed, and judging on the fast-approaching grunts of that bitchy goddess, he needed all the speed he could.

Praying to any deity that happened to be listening, Kazuma ran at full speed and did his best to execute a slide similar to those he saw in some of his favorite video games.

To his complete and utter surprise, his stupid plan worked and he narrowly slid right under the carriage. Barely breaking stride in the slightest, Kazuma quickly got up and continued running as fast as he could.

Behind him, he heard the sound of the goddess crashing into the wagon and screaming out in rage.

Kazuma smirked.

Maybe his luck wasn't so bad after all.

Immediately after that thought passed through his head, he felt heat rapidly approaching from his right side. Kazuma quickly leaped to the left and narrowly avoided a giant fireball that flew right past him. The fireball continued on its path and slammed into a nearby building, utterly annihilating its front entrance.

Kazuma stared in disbelief at the utter destruction in front of him.

Oh come on!

Kazuma rolled out of the way of another fireball attack and scrambled as quickly as he could into a nearby alleyway. He desperately looked around for a hiding place and quickly dove into a pile of nearby garbage, making sure to bury himself as deep as he could in it.

Just as he full covered himself in garbage, a random lady in a stereotypical sorceress outfit ran into the alley and looked around frantically.

Kazuma stayed as quiet as he could as the lady ran past him, seemingly assuming that he ran to the next street.

He stared at her backside as she ran by him.

Damn, she kind of had a nice ass.

As soon as he was sure that the lady was fully gone, he relaxed into the garbage and got into a more comfortable position.

Kazuma instinctively let out a breath out of habit…...except no air came out.

Kazuma's eyes widened.

In fact, he didn't feel like he was breathing at all.

Kazuma's mind raced as he tried to come up with a rational explanation for what was happening.

He just ran for several minutes straight without end. He should be tired and struggling to catch his breath!

Now that he thought about it, he didn't feel tired either. He hadn't been tired at all during the entirety of his run for that matter. He was a horrible runner! He rarely ever got out of the house and never had the stamina to walk around for too long! How did he get through that so easily without getting tired?

All of this was without even factoring in the fact that literally everybody in this town was either trying to kill him or was completely scared of him. It couldn't be just the fact that he was a stranger, because that goddess bitch had been ignored entirely in favor of attacking him.

Then there was that lich that bitch had screamed about. While he was running, he hadn't seen anything resembling one and everyone ignored the possible threat to attack him. Surely a Lich was more important than some Japanese teenager. Why would anyone go after him in this situation?

Kazuma froze as a possible answer dawned him

Nobody would go after him in favor of a Lich unless he was the very Lich they were going after.

Kazuma's mind raced through the various strange phenomenon that had happened to him since he came to this world.

He didn't feel tired because a dead body doesn't need sleep. He didn't need to breathe because a dead body doesn't need air. He wasn't able to feel his lips at all, because they were something that decayed as soon as someone died.

This was all without even factoring in the weapons he had been struck with. In most games, non-magical weapons didn't affect liches. That sword had been massive, but it had no glow or anything, indicating that it was likely non-magical. Alternatively, the dagger that struck was glowing with some energy he didn't recognize. It made perfect sense that it was imbued with some kind of magic which would've allowed it to hurt a lich.

Finally, there was the fear people had shown towards him from the very start. Liches were extremely feared in most fictional settings. If one dropped out of nowhere in the middle of a town, it would make sense for people to panic.

Kazuma looked down at his hands for the first time hesitantly, hoping against hope that his assumption was wrong.

To his horror, however, the hands he looked at were nothing but bone.

Kazuma quickly felt his face and found that he didn't feel a single speck of skin or muscle anywhere.

Kazuma's metaphorical heart sank.

Holy shit, he was a lich.

Kazuma's mind started racing.

What the fuck?! What the fuck?! What the fuck?! How- When- Why-

Kazuma started trembling in fear.

What the fuck was he anymore? Was he considered dead or alive? How did Liches even work in this world? When did he transform? Why was this happening to him?

Kazuma curled up even further underneath the pile of trash.

What the actual fuck?!

* * *

Aqua groaned as she sat alone in the guild hall.

Today couldn't get any worse! Within a few hours, she had been cast out by heaven to help a teenage NEET kill the demon king, abandoned by said NEET, and on top of all that; a lich had escaped her grasp.

Aqua ground her teeth as she sat at her table.

Undead like liches were affronts to gods and goddesses like her! They broke every rule mortals were supposed to follow and lived eternally in this plane! All of them need to be exterminated! The fact that these people hadn't already killed that blot on existence was appalling.

Aqua snorts arrogantly.

Somehow, all of these idiots had failed to apprehend or eliminate the insult to her existence. When she got back to where she belonged, she was going to make sure that every one of them would be reincarnated into the body of a pig!

Aqua glanced down at the gold coins in her hand.

The only solace of this miserable day was that she found a bunch of gold coins scattered around the place after she crashed into that fruit cart. It was strange that so much gold was scattered all over the place, but she wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Aqua glanced at her surroundings and realized that she was still alone. She groaned as she lamented her lack of progress.

She had been waiting here for hours! Why had nobody asked to join her party yet?! Seriously, she was a goddess! How was that not incredibly appealing to potential teammates?!

Aqua slammed her head on the table.

She wouldn't have to be looking for more teammates if that stupid NEET hadn't abandoned her. He was the one who brought her to this stupid world in the first place! He should've been on the ground begging for forgiveness as soon as they arrived!

Instead, she had been abandoned! Because of that, she had ended up needing to sit in this guild hall for hours to hopefully gain some teammates! When she found out where that stupid NEET went, she was going to castrate that bastard for leaving her all alone!

As Aqua looked at her empty surroundings, an explanation popped into her head on why it was taking so long.

Perhaps the reason why no one had joined her yet was because the request she had posted was obscured. Surely if one of these peasants saw a goddess asking for assistance, they would leap to join her as soon as possible.

Aqua eagerly ran up to check the quest board.

As she looked it up and down, she realized something.

Her poster was no longer on the board.

Aqua glanced around frantically to see where it could've gone and saw the guild receptionist walking away with it in hand.

Aqua scrambled over to her and grabbed the woman by the shoulder.

"What do you think you're doing with my request?!"

The guild lady turned around with a polite smile on her face.

"Oh! Is this your child's drawing? I yelled to see if this mess belonged to anyone, but no one responded."

Aqua yanked the poster out of her hand angrily.

"NO, IT'S MY GODDAMN REQUEST FOR PEOPLE TO JOIN MY PARTY! WHY THE FUCK WOULD IT BE A CHILD'S DRAWING?!"

The guild lady shrank back in fear at the deranged woman in front of her.

"W-well, uh, the h-handwriting was so illegible and it was so badly d-drawn that I thought that only a c-child could make it. The g-guild only allows actual quests and r-requests to be posted, so I assumed that s-someone child put it up there and moved to t-take it down."

Aqua ignored the receptionist's quivering voice.

"WELL, YOUR ASSUMPTION WAS WRONG!"

Aqua marched over to the quest board, slammed her party request in the middle, and made sure that it was in clear view of everyone around her.

Aqua stomped over to her seat and sat down.

How dare that bitch judge her masterpiece?! Clearly she had no taste! The next adventurer to come along would surely see her request and accept it!

With that thought, Aqua sat down and continued to wait for an adventurer who would join her team.

…...and waited.

…...and waited.

…...and waited a bit more.

Aqua forced herself awake as she felt herself begin to drift off.

You know what, maybe some beer would help her pass the time.

* * *

Kazuma ran at a casual pace aimlessly along the paved road.

Escaping the town had been surprisingly easy. After lying in the garbage for a few hours, he had taken advantage of the cover of night to escape. It had been relatively simple with so few people out, and within a few minutes, he was dashing as far away from that hellhole as possible. Honestly, he probably could've escaped earlier if he had wanted to, but his mental breakdown had distracted him for a quite a while.

Kazuma glanced at his surroundings to make sure no one was following or approaching him.

After he had realized that he was a lich, he had spent a lot of time freaking out and overthinking what had happened to him. He was so shocked and disoriented, that he probably would've been quite easy to kill if someone had found him. After some thinking, however, he came to a realization that brought him out of his stupor.

He really didn't feel that different.

At first everything had been shocking, but honestly he just really didn't feel too different. Mentally, he was still Satou Kazuma, and physically everything felt surprisingly close to how he was as a human. The only real major differences were the weird sensations of lacking skin, muscles, organs, and a…...little friend. The differences were certainly off-putting, but he had gotten over them rather quickly.

Or maybe this whole situation just hadn't sunk in yet. That was certainly a possibility.

The point was that, at least at this current point in time, he was completely fine with this. There was the possibility that he would have another breakdown when he learned the ramifications for being a lich, but he would cross the bridge when he came to it.

With his two most pressing issues dealt with for the moment, that only left him with one problem.

Kazuma paused mentally and looked down at his skeletal hand.

Make that two problems.

The more pressing issue at the moment, however, was quite simple.

What was he supposed to do now?

He was in a world that he knew nothing about without anyone to guide him through it, he couldn't ask anyone for help due to fear of retaliation because of his undead nature, and, most importantly, he had no idea what he wanted to do next.

Being an adventurer was completely out of the picture due to his current status as an undead. Defeating the Demon King was probably impossible at his given level and without the support of others. He was too weak as far as he knew to do any substantial amount of fighting, making mercenary work impossible. Finally, and most importantly, he had no idea where any other liches could be or if they would even help him. For all he knew, other liches would kill him on sight. It certainly would fit right in with the rulers of undeath he had seen in video games.

As Kazuma mulled over his options, he glanced more and more at his surroundings out of agitation.

How could he think when he had no idea if he was safe or not? He needed a place to stay for a while, or at least until he could decide what to do next. Someplace remote where few people would visit like a cave, an abandoned building, or even a-

Kazuma noticed something out of the corner of his eye and slowed to a stop.

On a nearby hill sat a rather poorly kept cemetery. The place looked almost completely abandoned from where he was standing, or at least very poorly kept. It was clear that people very rarely came there at all.

Huh, that was convenient.

Kazuma immediately sprinted away from the road towards the cemetery. Luckily, he didn't feel the least bit tired and was able to reach it quickly at top speed.

He may not be completely used to this being a lich, but this infinite stamina thing was amazing.

Kazuma slowed to stop on the outskirts of the graveyard to survey it.

It definitely looked like no one was here from what he could see. It also didn't seem nearly as dirty and unsanitary as he expected it to look either. He would need to be careful about where he sat though. He didn't want to get sic-

Kazuma paused.

On second thought, he probably had nothing to worry about when it came to getting sick.

Overall, the only thing slightly off-putting was a low murmur he could just barely hear. It was there, but he could just faintly hear what sounded like moaning and groaning.

Kazuma shrugged.

It wasn't like it mattered though. Whatever the sound was coming from was clearly far away. He could always just run if it got any louder.

Kazuma hopped over the fence and walked around the cemetery for a while before he found a half decent looking tree to lay against.

Not even wasting a second, Kazuma sat down and practically fell backwards against the tree.

This would make a decent place to spend the next couple hours in. He would mull over his options, pick the best one, and continue on his journey as soon as he was done.

As Kazuma thought over the possible paths he could take, his mind drifted back to the weirdness of his status as an undead.

So, what exactly was an undead? Was he alive, dead, or somewhere in-between? He obviously needed to have died to revive back as an undead, but how exactly did that work? In fact, how did he become undead in the first place?

Suddenly a realization from his thought process hit him.

Wait a minute. If he had technically dead again, then did that mean what he thought it meant?

Kazuma had a feeling that he would be crying if he could.

He had died a virgin twice in the span of only one day!

Kazuma silently screamed in despair at the notion, more distraught at this minor, inconsequential thought than the rest of the mind-shattering realizations he had just had less than a few hours ago.

Suddenly a noise interrupted his thoughts of despair causing him to snap back to attention.

Kazuma quickly ducked behind a nearby gravestone and did his best to remain quiet.

What was that?

* * *

Wiz stayed relatively quiet as she walked towards the cemetery to release the souls from their eternal unrest and send them to heaven.

She came here every once in a while to quiet the poor restless souls that the priests refused to help. In her opinion at least, it was her duty to send the restless souls onto their eternal peace. The suffering that came with being able to move on must be immense and refusing to aid them would be cruel.

Wiz came to a stop as she came to the cemetery's entrance.

She paused and listened to the cries of the wandering souls.

What poor innocent people. They didn't deserve to be forced to stay in this world forever like this due to greedy priests not honoring proper burial rights for the poor. It wouldn't matter soon enough though. After all, their unrest would soon be over.

As Wiz walked into the cemetery, she felt more acutely aware of each and every soul around her. There were so many, even more than the last time she had been here.

Wiz clenched her fist.

It angered her that so many people were forced to stay in this world unwillingly due to those priests. She would never take a human life, but she wouldn't exactly care too much if something were to happen to those greedy jerks.

Denying these people the right to move on was horrific. She could only imagine how angry she would've been if this punishment had been inflicted on Rosary and Brad.

Wiz stopped in her tracks at the thought of her former companions.

It had been a really long time since he had last thought of her friends. It seemed like a lifetime ago that they passed on into their heavenly rest. It filled her with a sense of nostalgia about her old adventuring days.

Back then, she had felt truly invincible with them by her side. The three of them defeated enemy after enemy without a second thought. Nothing could stand in the way of the Ice Witch and her invincible companions!

Until they met a person more powerful than anything she could've ever dreamed of.

Vanir was far more powerful than anything she had ever seen before. He evaded, survived, and downright mocked her team's numerous attempts to defeat him. It had been like a game to him, and for the first time, she was truly unable to do anything to hurt her foe.

Everything from her most powerful offensive spells to her Cursed Crystal Prison was useless before the archdevil. Even the powerful prison she bought from the Crimson Demon Clan had failed to make any progress, only achieving her more frustration when she realized that Vanir was invincible in it.

….though to be fair she probably should've thought that plan through a bit more.

In her dejection over failing to defeat Vanir, she had made the grave mistake of going after another Demon King General to soothe her wounded ego. She had encouraged her reluctant friends that Vanir was nothing but a fluke and that they would destroy their next obstacle.

She had been truly foolish.

Though they wounded Beldia greatly, he fled like a coward when the going got tough and cursed the three of them to die within the month.

Her companions had told her that it wasn't her fault. They told her that they had been the ones to agree to the plan in the first place.

She couldn't accept that.

So she set off to confront the one being strong enough to break the curse on them.

She had fought with all her might in vain to show Vanir just how powerful her soul was, hoping against hope that he would accept it in trade for saving her companions.

In the end though, Vanir refused her offer, utterly crushing her hopes.

That was until he offered her the power to force Beldia to break it himself. All the archdevil asked for in exchange was her help in making a dungeon.

She agreed and in exchange, he taught her a forbidden technique.

He taught her how to become a lich.

Utilizing the new power, she had stormed the Demon King's Castle, defeated 2 of his finest generals, beatdown Beldia, and then forced him to break the curse on her friends.

Of course, she couldn't just walk away after that. The Demon King cornered her with ease, but surprisingly he did not kill her. Instead, he offered her the chance to become one of the generals maintaining his barrier. Seeing no other way out of the situation, she agreed.

After receiving some help with Vanir in disguising herself, she was able to go back home and meet her friends again.

It didn't take long for them to figure out that she was a lich, but they had been surprisingly fine with it. Relief had filled her when they accepted what she now was.

After that, she retired from adventuring and opened a shop in the exact place where they first met.

As for the rest of what happened, it was history.

Her companions grew old and passed on peacefully after having a child, she met up with Vanir and the other Demon King Generals on several occasions, and she started a Magic shop in Axel. She had been through many trials and tribulations, but they had ultimately shaped her into the person she was today.

Her only regrets were the things she missed out on by becoming a lich. Growing old with her friends, having children, becoming even more famous as an adventurer, and the multitude of other things she missed out on. Those missed opportunities were all unfortunate, but she doubted that she would do it any different if given the chance.

With her trip down memory lane finished, Wiz zoned back into reality and moved forward to start her ritual.

The second she moved forward, however, she almost immediately froze when she heard the sound of someone moving nearby.

After shaking herself out of her stupor, Wiz quickly turned in the direction of the noise and quickly noticed a hint of clothing peeping out from behind a tombstone.

Wiz started trembling in fear.

Shit! She had been followed! This person would leak her identity to the town and soon everyone wou-

Wiz quickly squashed the panic brewing in her and stopped her shivering.

Panicking would do nothing in this situation. She needed to think about this logically.

This person technically hadn't seen her do anything yet. She could easily make up a reason for being here and wait for them to leave before continuing.

Wiz walked over to the tombstone the person was hiding behind.

"Excuse me, sir, I couldn't help but notic-"

Wiz froze as she saw a hand barely poke up from behind the rock.

That in itself wasn't odd. Whoever this person was, they were terrible at hiding. It wasn't surprising that parts of them would stick out from their hiding place.

The odd part was that it was the hand of a skeleton.

If this was a mindless skeleton soldier rising from the grave, then she needed to take care of it before it hurt anyone.

Wiz didn't waste a moment in jumping around the tombstone while preparing her magic. She raised her hand and held it out towards the undead.

"ICE BLA-."

The figure yelped in fear and fell back.

"PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! I DON'T WANT TO DIE AGAIN!"

Wiz stopped her magic mid-word and paused. She stared for a moment before letting her hand fall to her side in shock when she realized three things.

The first was that the undead in front of her was clearly not mindless, something extremely rare among their numbers. The number of undead types that could think freely could be counted on one hand.

The second was that the voice that came out of the body was that of a teenager. It was rare for any person to become any of the aforementioned undead, much less a teenager. It was quite surprising to see one so young become an undead.

The third and most shocking realization made her jaw drop.

In every way, the younger-looking undead in front of her was undeniably the same kind as she was.

A lich.

* * *

**(1) The origin I'm using for the Demon King is a combination of what we've been told in the Megumin side stories (That an adventurer who went off to fight a previous Demon King and became the Demon King) and what little we saw of the Demon King in the Web Novel. As he has not been formally introduced to the main party within the light novels at this time, though considering the most recent volume he'll probably be appearing soon, I've needed to take some liberties with his origin and what he's like. The same will apply to his daughter when she's introduced eventually, due to her only getting a few passing mentions in the Light Novel and not existing in the web novel.**

**First, I have to say something about the knowledge we have on liches in Konosuba. For a race that is the main feature of one of the most prominent recurring characters in the series, we know very little about it. Due to this lack of knowledge, I've had to interpret parts of how liches work in Konosuba. Almost everything I say about liches that is not said in canon is likely something from another form of fiction's lich or is just a headcanon.**

**Second matter of business, is this a villain Kazuma story? The answer is a strong no. Kazuma will be working with most of the Demon King generals at one point or another, but none of his actions will be any more villainous than canon Kazuma. He'll be slightly more of a dick, but otherwise, this is far from a villain story.**

**Thirdly, we have the question of if I'm vilifying Aqua and the rest of Axel since Kazuma will be a foe for them. The answer to that is also no. Just because two people are foes doesn't mean that one is evil. Aqua is hateful of undead, which is completely in character for her, and doesn't recognize Kazuma due to her idiocy, which is also in character for her. As for the rest of Axel, there are two good reasons why they would react negatively for a lich. First off, you have to remember that most of the people within Axel are in the church of Eris, a goddess who hates all undead just as much, if not more so, than Aqua. There's also the fact that an undead as powerful as a Lich dropped out of nowhere in the middle of a town. If something as feared and powerful as a lich appeared out of nowhere, it would make sense for people to be afraid.**

**Fourthly, we have the question of how strong Kazuma will be in this story. The answer is quite simply that he will be on the same level as canon Kazuma, maybe slightly stronger or weaker, for about 85% of the story. He'll still need to rely on creativity and trickery to win fights, just with different tools from canon.**

**Finally, we have the topic of if this story will contain shipping… The answer is yes, but it won't be the main focus. I don't have a preference for who I'll pick, so go ahead and give me your opinions in the comments.**

**First, let me establish who is banned from the ship pool:**

**Wiz- She is Kazuma's motherly figure and teacher in this story, which kind of bans her from the pool by default.**

**Iris- I already have different plans for her that would make shipping her with Kazuma awkward and uncomfortable.**

**Any of the Demon King Generals/the Demon King- I don't feel like I need to explain this one.**

**Every other ship is fair game.**

**So just throw an opinion in a review if you have a preference. I'm fine with whatever, so I just want to hear what you guys think.**

**Regardless of who I ship him with, Kazuma will be his normal perverted self. It's kind of a given when writing him.**

**I hope you enjoyed this first chapter! Have a nice day!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Well, I'm back. I should warn anyone reading this that I'm very inconsistent when it comes to updates. I just have other things to work on and real life is a bitch. I will still make an effort to update this at least once a month though.**

**This chapter contains the first bit of speculation on my part on how liches work in the Konosuba universe. Most importantly, how an undead like Wiz still has a functioning body that can eat, sleep, and drink. I personally think that the theory of her not decaying due to performing the previously mentioned tasks is boring and makes no sense. After all, she's undead. If the only difference between her and a human was an immortal lifespan, then everyone would want to be a lich. Liches have to have had major physical drawbacks for their ritual to be so rare. Remember that nothing has been stated about how a lich's body works in canon (as far as I remember from reading vol 1-15), so this is mostly me applying mechanics that would make sense in the world of Konosuba.**

**Has anyone ever realized just how loaded liches are in Konosuba? They are immortal, they're immune to non-magical physical attacks, they are resistant to magical attacks, they're immune to most status effects according to the supplementary material, the ability Drain Touch seems to forgo magical immunity, and they might have the power to regenerate their body based on a scene in the Vanir spin-off (though the scene in question was not very serious, so Vanir been exaggerating).**

**Interesting fact for the anime onlies who decided to read this in spite of the spoilers in later chapters: Keele, the lich that appeared in Season 2 episode 3, had no eyes in the manga or light novels. It was a weird addition in the anime only. Just something I felt like I should point out.**

* * *

Wiz stared in shock at the smaller lich in front of her.

"Y-you! You're just like-"

Suddenly, the apparently teenaged lich fell to the ground and became still.

Wiz panicked.

Crap! He had fallen unconscious! She needed to heal him right-

Wiz paused.

Wait, he was a lich just like her. He didn't have a functioning human body at the moment.

Wiz kneeled down to scrutinize the smaller lich.

How did he fall unconscious when he shouldn't even have the ability to?

As Wiz leaned in closer to investigate, the smaller lich's hand formed into a fist and he threw a punch upwards at her face. Wiz ignored the attack as it bounced harmlessly off her skin.

The teenage lich swore and recoiled his hand in pain.

"Holy shit that hurt!"

The smaller lich rolled away from her and leaped to its feet.

He glanced her up and down warily and started to back away slowly.

Wiz gave the smaller lich a sympathetic gaze.

Poor thing. He was panicking in fear at the sight of her. He must have only turned recently.

"I'm sorry for frightening yo-"

The unknown lich turned and ran.

Wiz stared blankly as she watched the smaller lich run away from her.

That was…..unexpected.

Wiz stood there for a moment and considered her options.

She could always just let him go. If he had just recently turned it would be a long process to calm him down. There was also a good chance that he may just not listen to her.

On the other hand, she would have given anything for someone to have helped her when she first turned. It had been a harrowing experience, and she had been an adult at the time. This lich appeared to be a teenager at best. His emotions were probably even more unstable than hers had been. He probably needed all the help he could get emotionally.

She looked at the retreating form of the younger lich.

It shouldn't take her too long to catch up to him.

"Longstrider. Haste."

Wiz felt the spells wash over her body and started to run forward.

The teenaged lich had been about 200 ft away when she started. Within five seconds she closed the distance between the two, slowing herself down to keep pace with him when she was within 5 feet of him.

"Sir! Could you stop for a-"

The younger lich came to a sudden stop, turned, and attempted to tackle her to the ground.

It wasn't a horrible plan she supposed. Any adventurer who didn't belong to a physical class would've been knocked over by his weight. It was rather obvious that she wasn't in the aforementioned classes, so she should've been quite easy to knock over. With his inability to be disoriented, he probably could've gotten an opportunity to at least make some distance between himself and the theoretical adventurer.

Wiz quickly raised her hand.

"Wall of Ice."

Unfortunately, his plan did not account for the fact that her reaction speed was at least 4 times more than his due to Haste.

A wall of ice formed beneath the younger lich and slammed into his chest. The wall rose steadily with the teenage lich on top of it until it was twenty feet tall.

Wiz then quickly dispelled her wall, causing the smaller lich to fall back to the ground.

The aforementioned lich curled in on himself and groaned.

"Ow….."

Wiz winced.

She hadn't expected that to actually hurt him much. It looked like she would need to be careful with what she cast around him.

She tried to move closer to him.

"I'm sorr-"

The young lich curled in on himself.

"Just be quick about it. I want to die as painlessly as possible."

Wiz slowed her approach.

She would have to wait for him to calm down before continuing.

Wiz lowered herself to her knees and stayed as quiet as she could.

Eventually, the teenaged lich realized that she wasn't doing anything and slowly uncurled himself and looked up at her.

"...why haven't you killed me yet?"

Wiz smiled gently to try and calm the younger lich down.

"Is that what you thought I was going to do?"

The lich cautiously nodded.

"Yeah, you were about to blast me with a spell or something earlier."

Wiz rubbed her head in embarrassment.

"Sorry, I thought you were a mindless skeleton at first. They're quite common in this graveyard, so I leaped into action to get rid of a threat. I paused as soon as I saw that you were a lich."

The young lich's body language indicated that he was still cautious.

"Why did me being a lich change your mind? From what I saw in that town I was in earlier, liches are feared by most people."

Wiz cocked her head.

Huh?

She looked down at her fleshy body.

Oh yeah, she sometimes forgot that it was impossible to tell what she was by sight.

She looked back up at the young lich.

"Simple, I'm a lich just like you."

Wiz had a feeling that the teenage lich would be giving her a deadpan expression if he could right now.

"Really?"

Wiz nodded.

"Yes, I've actually been one for about one hund- EEP!"

Wiz let out a surprised yell as the smaller lich groped her breast.

She blushed furiously and recoiled backwards.

"Why did you do that?!"

The lich held up his hands defensively.

"Liches are supposed to hide with illusions, right? I was checking to see if you're body was one."

Wiz calmed down.

Yes, that made sense. She shouldn't assume the worst about someone she had just met.

"I apologize for yelling. Illusions are relatively useless when it comes to disguising yourself in such a large way. After all, it would only take a touch for someone to figure out that you're using one. I, on the other hand, am using a spell to make myself nearly indistinguishable from a human."

The young lich stared ahead at her.

"Prove it."

Wiz winced.

"Are you sure?"

The teenage lich nodded.

Wiz sighed.

She would rather not. The re-casting of the spell took a lot of time and effort. But really, what other choice did she have?

"Okay, just don't panic."

She touched her forehead with her hand.

"Dispel Magic."

Everything was quiet for a moment before her flesh started to recede and disappear. It was likely a gruesome sight for the young lich, to watch all the flesh suddenly start to vanish, but he would need to prepare for the sight for when he needed to do it.

Within seconds, she was in a form that was just as skeletal as his.

She looked back up at the young lich and clearly see how shaken he was.

"Do you believe me now?"

The young lich rapidly nodded his head.

Wiz would've let out a sigh of relief if she could.

"Good. I'm going to re-apply the form as soon as we're done here. After I ensure that you're in good shape, I'm sure that you have somewhere you're heading after all."

The teenaged lich flinched.

"Uh…."

Wiz stared at the younger lich.

"You do have a destination in mind, right?"

The teenaged lich shook his head

"No. I have honestly no idea where I am or where I'm going. I don't really even know anything about this world."

Wiz chose to ignore the 'this world' part.

"Surely you must know something about Belzerg?"

The young lich shook his head.

"I really don't know anything about this place."

Wiz had a dilemma in front of her. There was no way she could just abandon the younger lich on his own like this. He knew nothing about Belzerg, he knew nothing about its customs, and he didn't even know where he was going. She could barely imagine how scared she would've been in this kids place.

What could she do to help?

She considered it for a moment before an idea popped into her head.

"I have an idea. How would you like to live with me? It wouldn't have to be permanent if you don't want it to be, but I feel like it would at least give you a safe place to stay until you decide what you want to do."

The younger lich looked a bit taken aback.

"Wait, you're just offering me, a complete stranger, the ability to live with you for an undefined amount of time."

Wiz nodded.

The teenage lich's body language became unreadable.

"You're either the dumbest person I have ever met or the most naive."

Wiz looked down in dejection.

"Yeah, I was just sure that you must be scared and alone out here. I would feel guilty if I didn't try to fix that. I apologize for offeri-"

The young lich frantically waved his hands for her to pause.

"I didn't say no, I totally accept your offer. I'm just pointing out that you should be more careful with who you offer it to."

Wiz would've smiled if she could.

"Ok then, I'll make sure to remember that in the future."

The young lich held out his hand.

"I'm Satou Kazuma by the way, please just call me Kazuma."

Wiz accepted his handshake.

"My name is Wiz."

Wiz looked towards the horizon and noticed the sun rising in the distance.

It looks like the lost souls in this graveyard would have to wait a few more nights.

"Come on, I need to cast the spell so we can get going."

Kazuma held out his hand.

"Hold it. I still have a few questions. First, where are we staying?"

"I own a shop in Axel, a town for beginner adventurers about a day's walk that way."

Wiz pointed in the general direction of Axel.

Kazuma suddenly seemed nervous based on his body language.

"I think I was there earlier. I got chased out by a bunch of scared people."

Wiz waved it off.

"That's not a big deal. They won't recognize you."

Kazuma cocked his head in confusion.

"Why not?"

Wiz pointed to herself.

"The spell I can cast makes liches indistinguishable from a human will work on you as well. It'll take an hour or two to do us both, but you shouldn't have to worry about your appearance until I need to reapply the spell in two months."

Kazuma nodded in understanding.

"Can you explain the spell better? I want to know what I'll be able to do."

Wiz nodded.

"When I first became a lich, I was constantly casting a spell called Gentle Repose on myself every ten days. It prevents the decay of anything the spell is cast on and it prevented my body from rotting like most undead. The problem with it was that it was far more trouble than it was worth. I still couldn't do most of the things a normal human could do, it was annoying to so frequently re-cast the spell, and any priest or crusader worth their salt would easily be able to tell that I was undead."

Wiz took a moment to glance at the sun to see how much time had passed.

"While I was unlocking skills for the Lich class, I came across a spell that solved my problems. I quickly invested a ton of skill points into it. The spell creates a working human body with a lich's bones as the basis for it. It enables a lich to utilize the body to its fullest potential due to magic, allowing us to eat, drink, sleep, and otherwise be nearly indistinguishable from the average person. It also projects a false aura to crusaders and priests that make a lich seem like a normal human. Due to all these properties, the spell allows a lich to walk around the human world with ease."

Kazuma nodded in understanding.

"Any limitations I need to know about?"

Wiz scratched her head in embarrassment.

"I haven't invested enough into the spell for it to make a perfect body. The most important one is that our body is far colder than that of a normal person. I've usually been able to use the excuse of recently using ice magic, but it's still an issue. The body also needs to be maintained. It can die around us if we don't properly take care of it, which would give us away quite easily. Other than that, it can't disguise the fact that we, as liches, take no damage from non-magical and non-holy attacks. Oh yeah, and the reproductive system..."

Wiz would have blushed if she was able to.

"...still doesn't work."

Kazuma put his skull in his hands.

"You have to be kidding me."

Wiz shook her head.

"I never felt the need to upgrade it enough to get the reproductive system working. When you get the spell, maybe you can invest in it enough to get it working."

Kazuma mumbled quietly.

"Just when I thought I'd get a working dick."

Wiz missed what he said.

"Can you repeat that?"

Kazuma waved his hand.

"It's nothing. Let's get this over with so we can go to your shop already."

Wiz clapped her hands together.

"Alright, let's begin."

* * *

Kazuma cautiously walked alongside Wiz as the two of them walked through Axel.

It had taken about an hour for Wiz to cast the spell on both of them. It had been tedious, but he couldn't exactly say it wasn't worth it.

He rubbed his face with his newly formed hand.

According to Wiz, his body should be nearly identical to how it looked when he died. He had been a bit worried at first, but he quickly realized that it didn't really matter that much. No one besides that idiotic goddess knew what he looked like before he became a lich and what was the chance that he would meet her again?

From what he could tell, he looked exactly the same. It felt nice to look human again, and he certainly couldn't wait to eat and drink as much as he wanted at the earliest opportunity.

There was something that he did notice though.

Kazuma glanced down at his legs.

He felt completely fine after walking for nearly an entire day. His stamina appeared to still be nearly limitless despite the fact that he had a new body. He needed to test out other things, like whether he could fall unconscious or not. Either way, it was a useful thing to note for the future that Wiz hadn't told him.

Speaking of Wiz….

Kazuma glanced over at the attractive lich beside him.

He didn't know what to think of her. She was very powerful based on what little he had seen, but she seemed a bit naive. She certainly wasn't an idiot, but she had way too little self-preservation.

He could've been a totally evil person and she would've just let him into her home. That indicated one of two things. She was either so naive that she trusted him after knowing him for only a few minutes, or she acted naive due to the belief that she was powerful enough to deal with any threat that came her way and thus didn't need to care about self-preservation.

He wasn't sure which option he disliked more.

Still, she was kind enough to give him a home for the foreseeable future, so he shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. He also had an appreciation for her...

Kazuma looked her up and down slowly with a smirk.

…..assets.

Kazuma shook his head and looked away.

He had to stop himself from doing anything perverted. He didn't want to scare away the one person who had offered to help him so far. She could also probably kill him at any moment as well if he annoyed her.

Kazuma glanced apprehensively at the surrounding buildings.

Honestly, he also felt uncomfortable at the idea of being a creep towards Wiz after how much she had done for him already, despite the two of them being strangers. It felt like kind of a shitty thing to do.

Oh yeah, he also knew that she was nothing but a skeleton like him under all of her...flesh. That was a massive turn-off.

Wiz suddenly stopped and turned to look at a building on their left.

"That's my shop. Come on, I'll show you around."

As Wiz entered the building, Kazuma took a moment to survey it from the outside.

It seemed like a decent sized place for a shop and the decorations certainly gave off the feel of a magic shop.

It didn't seem like a terrible place to live.

Kazuma walked into the building.

He looked at the surrounding magical objects in extreme curiosity.

He would need to learn what each of these did. If he ever had to fight someone, he would need to know all of his available options.

Wiz spread her arms outwards to gesture to the shop around him.

"This is my humble abode. This is, of course, the front part of the store, where all the sellable magical items are located. I'll talk more about it in a moment, but let's move on."

Kazuma followed Wiz as she walked through a door next to the counter.

The room he walked into was relatively small. Besides a singled cheap-looking bed in one corner, the only other notable feature was a shelf with a few miscellaneous items on it.

Wiz seemed embarrassed at the small room.

"It's not much, but this is my living quarters. I sleep in here to keep this body healthy. I also keep the magical items that are too dangerous to sell back here due to their power."

Kazuma's eyes instantly flickered to the unprotected items on the shelf.

"Do they have any magical protection on them to prevent someone from stealing one?"

Wiz shook her head.

"No, I just keep them back here."

You had to be kidding him.

If they were as dangerous as she said, why would she be leaving them out in the open? Keeping them in the seemingly unlocked back room of a store was idiotic enough already, but it was downright unbelievable that she had done next to nothing to protect them.

He was starting to lean more towards the theory that she was an idiot.

Kazuma turned his gaze back to Wiz.

"Anything else?"

Wiz suddenly looked uncomfortable.

"Well, I kind of have something I'd like you to do while you stay here."

Kazuma narrowed his eyes.

He knew she was suspicious! He may need to prepare to leave it was something too extreme. He was not about to do some crazy sacrificial shit just so he had a place to stay.

Wiz was blushing in discomfort.

"Could you possibly be my employee?"

….

"Is that it?"

Wiz nodded and cocked her head in confusion.

"Of course, what else would I ask for?"

Maybe he had jumped to conclusions a bit too fast there.

"It sounds fine to me."

Honestly, he would prefer to just laze around and relax all day, but he didn't want to upset the woman who was giving him a place to stay.

Although he would never admit it, he also kind of wanted to do something to repay her kindness. He hated work, but he would feel like kind of an asshole if he just lounged around all day.

Wiz sighed in relief.

"Good. That will be a little bit less work for me to worry about."

She seemed so happy that he would be taking a bit of the workload. She must be working herself into the ground.

…...would it really be so wrong if he took advantage of this situation a little bit?

Kazuma forced himself to casually shrug.

"It's not a big deal, but I do expect you to pay me."

Wiz waved it off.

"It's no big deal. I'll pay you as soon as we start making a profit."

Kazuma smirked.

"Alright, then I'll need every bit of documentation you have on the store then."

Wiz suddenly went stock-still.

"...documentation?"

Kazuma suddenly felt a very deep pit form in his stomach.

"You know what I mean, don't you? I'm talking about things like a balance sheet to track our assets and liabilities or a list of your inventory so we can keep track of what items we do and don't have. They're both basic things you should keep track of. Surely you have to have something?"

Normally, most of this stuff could be handled by technology, but they were in a fantasy world without computers. It would be idiotic to not keep track of these things with documents of some kind.

Wiz shook her head slowly.

"I don't have any documentation."

"...do you at least keep track of your inventory with magic?"

Wiz shook her head again.

Kazuma rubbed his forehead in frustration.

There was no way that anyone could be this stupid.

A few miles away, a certain blue-haired goddess sneezed.

"Kazuma?"

Kazuma looked up at Wiz with barely restrained frustration.

"Get me some parchment and ink."

Wiz felt smiled nervously at Kazuma's menacing tone.

"Actually, I wanted to make sure you knew everything about being a lic-"

"GET ME THE FUCKING PARCHMENT AND THE FUCKING INK!"

Wiz let out a noise of fear and ran into the back room.

"Yes, sir!"

Kazuma wanted to bang his head on the wall, even if it would likely do nothing.

He was starting to hope that he had the ability to get drunk.

* * *

Kazuma banged his head on the counter as he wrote the last piece of information on the balance sheet.

He was fucked. He really should've known that a deal like this was too good to be true.

Wiz rushed to his side.

"Kazuma! Are you ok?!"

Kazuma banged his head on the counter again, this time with far more violent force, but he barely felt anything.

Well, that confirmed that the body was far more durable than it used to be.

"You are an idiot."

Wiz edged closer.

"What was that?"

Kazuma raised his head and looked at Wiz in anger.

"You are an idiot!"

Wiz took a step back in surprise.

"W-what?"

Kazuma forced himself onto his feet. Once he was sure that he could stand on his legs, he glared up at Wiz.

"Do I need to repeat it a hundred times for you to get it?! You are an idiot! How the fuck is this store even running?! Your profits are so far in the negatives that I'm surprised that you can even afford this place!"

Kazuma was practically trembling from his frustration at this point.

"On top of that, you didn't even bother to keep track of anything in this damn place! For all we know, several dozen items could've been stolen right under your nose!"

Kazuma pointed at the balance sheet.

"To cap it all off, you didn't even bother to keep track of your profits! There's a massive difference between knowing that your profits are in the negatives and knowing how far your profits are in the negatives! You would never have even known if you started making money, which is near impossible with just how fucking much money you've lost! Do you have anything to say for yourself?!"

Kazuma noticed tears beginning to well-up in Wiz's eyes.

Oh. Oh shit.

Wiz suddenly fell to her knees and started crying.

Kazuma stood there awkwardly.

Great, now he felt like an asshole.

Kazuma stiffly reached his hand out to try and comfort her before hesitating and pulling his hand back.

He was relatively good at interacting with people, but he had always been terrible at comforting them. He didn't really know what to do.

Kazuma desperately tried to come up with something.

You were supposed to calm them down first, right?

Kazuma patted Wiz on the shoulder.

After a few minutes, Wiz's crying slowed to a stop.

Next, he was supposed to apologize if he remembered correctly.

"Uh, Wiz?"

Wiz turned to look at him with teary eyes.

"Yes?"

Kazuma wanted to look away immediately.

Well, that was just great. Those teary eyes were making him feel like even more of an asshole.

"I'm sorry."

Kazuma finally chose to avert his gaze.

"I'm just stressed that I'm trapped in this situation alongside you. I don't have anywhere else to go, and your frankly horrible management skills gave me an excuse to let out some negative emotions. It's my fault for losing my temper."

He removed his hand from his shoulder, allowing Wiz to stand up.

Wiz kept her gaze off to the side as well.

"No, it's my fault as well. I'm really bad at running this place. It feels like the more I work the worse my store does. I'm just kind of glad that you'll be able to help me out with making this place profitable."

The two of them awkwardly stood there for a moment.

Kazuma cleared his throat.

"Well, you mentioned explaining the aspects of being a lich earlier?"

Wiz nodded.

"Yeah, I was just going to make sure you knew everything you needed to know. Basic things like how unmagical physical attacks can't harm us, how we have higher than average magical resistance, how we're extremely susceptible to holy damage, and how most, if not all, status effects don't affect us."

Kazuma tried to process the overload of implications everything she had just mentioned had.

"Why isn't everyone a lich if being one is this busted?"

Wiz shook her head.

"The ritual has been lost to time due to it being despised by the gods according to both the Eris and Axis cults. I only know it due to a friend of mine telling me about it."

Wiz seemed to suddenly remember something.

"That reminds me, do you remember anything about how you became a lich? It usually takes very powerful magic to transform someone into one, but you look like you're only level 1. Did someone perform the ritual on you?"

Shit, he hadn't prepared for this.

He couldn't just tell her that he was from another world. He would sound like a lunatic if he told her that. He needed a bullshit excuse for why he was so unknowledgeable.

"I told you earlier, I don't know anything about this world. I don't really remember anything to be completely honest."

An amnesia story would be what he worked with for now. He didn't have time to make up something believable and elaborate.

Wiz smiled gently and patted him on the head.

"You poor thing. I'll make sure to help you get your lost memories one day."

Kazuma did his best to seem as believable as possible.

"Yeah, I'm sure we will get them back someday."

Wiz gestured towards the back.

"Well, if we're all done with this conversation, we can go and-"

Kazuma held up his hand.

"Wait, is there anything else I need to know. I don't want to be caught off-guard by something else."

Wiz stood in thought for a moment.

"Did I mention that I'm a general in the Demon King's army?"

Kazuma stared at her for a moment.

"Huh. Neat."

He promptly fainted.

It turns out that he could fall unconscious.

* * *

"Hold your hand over the crystal please."

Kazuma raised his hand over the strange device in front of him.

"Do you mean like this?"

Kazuma had regained consciousness about an hour ago. Wiz had done her best to explain that while she was a Demon King General, the only thing she really did for him was maintain a barrier. He also didn't have to do anything for the Demon King if he didn't want to.

Still, he felt apprehensive about associating himself so heavily with a general of the Demon King. If it ever got revealed that Wiz was one of the Demon King's generals, he would be royally screwed. He would need to do his best to ensure that something like that didn't happen.

Kazuma watched in interest as the strange device carved something onto a card Wiz had placed under it.

"What will this card do again?"

The device finally turned off and Wiz picked up the card.

"It's an adventurer's card. It keeps track of your stats, levels, and skill points. You can invest those skill points into abilities and magic using this card. The Demon King gave out machines like this one to each of the generals, allowing us to give anyone we recruit the ability to keep track of everything I just mentioned."

Wiz looked down at his card and took a moment to read it.

"Overall, you seem to have average stats for everything except luck and intelligence. Your intelligence stat is really high, which is great for magic. As for your luck, it's by far the highest I've ever seen. It won't have many combat applications, but it'll certainly help out with the store."

Wiz looked back up at Kazuma.

"The Lich class, which we are both a part of, is considered a branch of the Arch-Wizard class**(1)**. As a result, you will have the ability to learn skills and magic from the Wizard, Arch-Wizard, and Lich job classes. I'll help guide you on magic as you gain levels."

Kazuma nodded.

"Alright, how do I use magic?"

Wiz tapped some things on his card before setting it down.

She turned to Kazuma.

"I just invested some skill points into Drain Touch for you. It's a powerful Lich ability that can transfer and absorb strength, vitality, and stamina."

Wiz gripped Kazuma's hand.

"Try and drain energy from me using Drain Touch."

Kazuma sat there for a moment.

What did he need to do? Did he only need to think about Drain Touch-

Suddenly, he noticed that his hand was glowing purple and that energy was crawling up his arm.

Huh, apparently that was all he had to do.

Kazuma felt a bit of amazement as he felt the energy start to fill his body.

Sure he had seen magic before, but it was an entirely different thing to cast it himself.

Wiz let go of his hand.

"Alright, I think we're done with this for now. Now if you excuse me, I have to go freeze some frogs."

Kazuma looked up.

"Wait, what?"

Wiz rolled up her sleeves and stretched her arms for a moment.

"You need to level up. The best way to level up quickly is to gain the killing blow on a creature. Landing the killing blow allows you to gain the maximum amount of experience points for killing a creature with the assistance of someone else. I'm going to go injure some Giant Frogs enough to make them easy to kill, drag them close to the town, and then bring you out to get the finishing blow."

Wiz pointed at Kazuma.

"In the meantime, you can start your job as my employee. I'll come get you tonight after I'm done gathering frogs."

"So basically you get to do all the cool stuff while I get to be a cashier."

Wiz shrugged.

"Pretty much."

Kazuma rolled his eyes.

"It sounds boring, but I'll trust that you know what you're talking about."

Wiz smirked.

"Good, I'll leave the store to you."

Wiz waved him goodbye before walking out of the store.

Kazuma walked behind the counter. He stood up as straight as he could and did his best to look as professional as he could in a tracksuit.

Even if this was boring, he was going to do this to the best of his ability. After all, he needed to show Wiz that she could trust him. He was….

…..already bored.

Kazuma stood behind the counter quietly for a few moments.

This was a terrible mistake.

* * *

**(1)- I'm basing this assumption off the fact that Wiz kept her Arch-Wizard skills and magic after transferring to the lich class. According to what we are told about how job classes work in Konosuba, it seems like you should lose your skills and magic from your previous class if you somehow switched to an unrelated one that is not an advancement of your current class. For example, an adventurer like canon Kazuma would only retain his thief skills if he became an adventurer. Technically, the adventurer class is the only one that can switch job classes normally, but it makes sense that the same logic would apply if you someone did somehow switch classes. Since Wiz still uses spells that we know she used when she was an arch-wizard, it's not hard to believe that Lich is an advancement/sub-branch of arch-wizard. It also makes sense from a lore perspective considering only powerful mages can become liches in most fantasy series.**

**Next chapter, Kazuma will meet some of the citizens of Axel. Specifically a blonde-haired douchebag and his party…...the one without the overpowered sword. Also, a certain explosion user and a timid witch may make an appearance as well, depending on how long I want to make the next chapter.**

**A bit of a shorter chapter than I'm used to, but most chapters should be substantially longer in the future.**

**As for the other Demon King Generals, since some people asked about them, they'll be appearing over time. I don't want to rush the story into meeting them. At this current point in time, Kazuma and Wiz don't really have much of a reason to leave Axel and meet them. I feel like it would be contrived to instantly jump from Kazuma getting used to Axel to Kazuma meeting the generals. Besides, I need to establish Kazuma's dynamics with the citizens of Axel first.**

**I'm sort of tempted to make it so when Kazuma gets armor it'll look similar to Kel'thuzad from World of Warcraft. I do have some personal hang-ups about doing it though. I could easily make an in-universe reason like Kazuma being into WOW, which fits with his character, but I still feel conflicted about it. What do you guys think?**

**Shipping Poll:**

**Darkness - 3 votes**

**Chris - 1 vote**

**Yunyun - 1 vote**

**Mitsugiri(?) - 1 vote (I think the person voted for this as a joke, but I'll leave it here anyway.)**


End file.
